Currently Playing 99 Problems/Dirt Off Your Shoulder, Pt. 2 By Jay-Z see related

- -

So I guess when the my car flashes the low fuel light, it's not joking.

Prom was OK, pretty uneventful exept the getting pulled over for drunk driving part. It's 2 in the morning after prom and I missed the turn to my friends house, so I pull into a parking lot, and as I'm about to pull back onto the road, I finally free this piece of meat in my teeth I've been working on since dinner. It's a tricky shred though, and takes some pretty strong encouragement to come out of its hole. I felt it deserved an honorable death for being such a worthy foe, so I lean out the window to spit it out, and as I lean out, I saw that hideous presence all teenage guys who've been illegitimately written speeding tickets hate: a freaking cop car. I realize that ol' boy's been watching the entire thing. I knew the instant I saw the cop that he desperately wanted to pull me over and test me for drugs. Problem was, I wasn't moving. I decided I'd save us bolth a little time and respect and let the dude just walk up to my car, as we were bolth parked 20 feet from each other. After about a minute of this standoff, I remembered that there was a sweet hot tub waiting for me at my destination, so I pressed the issue and pulled out onto the road and was freaking immediately pulled right back over. After making me step out of the car, they asked me if I'd been drinking ata ll that night. Nope. What about earlier tonight, just a little bit? Nope. But they persisted; they were pretty interested in this particular topic I guess. I guess I can see where they're coming from though, a strapping young man sitting in a used car lot, leaning out the window sucking his gums for a whole minute or more does not usually connote sober. I had to play these stupid games with the cops that I guess are pretty gruelling when you're drunk, but simply ridiculous when you're sober. The worst was the "follow my finger" game, which sounds, and is, easy UNTIL FREAKING YOU HAVE A MAGLITE IN YOUR EYEBALLS! Cop issue maglites are about 150 sun power for those of you who've never met one before, making it nigh impossible to remember what a finger even looks like, much less see. Either they were tired of playing games or realized I was in fact not drunk and cut to the chase, made me blow into a kazoo they called the "PBT", and then chatted it up with me about tennis and my college plans.

Since when does sun-tan-lotion actually work? I was operating this spring break past under the impression that said lotion blocks only the user from wiping sand out of their eyes and has nothing to do with actually protecting one from poisonous UV rays from the sun, as has been my experience in the past. I always thought that if you put any sun block at all on, then the sun will recognize, the sun's people will set up a shady meeting with the lotion's people to negotiate a compromise of terms, and then the sun's guys will throw the cheap Italian food into the lotion guys' faces, shoot 'em up on the spot, drench the diner in gasoline and explode the whole place. In other words, I assumed that the sun will just burn you evenly, sun block or no. This schema and the lotion itself tag-teamed last week to get me good when I half-heartedly applied the lotion and ended up with crazy streaks of burnt flesh contrasting nicely with untouched northern michigan white boy paleness. Anyway, the moral of the story is that I have a smoking hot body, even when I'm sunburned.

O yeah, we went down to Florida by the way for our break which was last week. Kbye

Currently Reading The Dishwasher/a Novel: A Novel By Dannie Martin see related

Woa, hey, i haven't updated this in a long time, and nothing much has been happening, but what better way to open a post than with such a generic statement? I started at my new (first ever) job. Yeah I'm doing the drywall at the new McDonald's up in Las Galenas and also washing dishes at a coffee shop. After three days of work, I've realized I'm the only employee who does any real actual work. You've got people who press buttons on the cahs register/computer, or fill up mugs with latte, or make samiches, or chop veggies/stir soups, but who runs around for 4-7 hours straight washing all the washable surfaces in the establishment causing him (or her) to stay way longer than everyone else come closing time? Oh yeah, thats ME! Pretty much never take a job as a dishwasher, unless it's at Kanakuk where there's safety in numbers.  "I shall return to post more later!" - Douglas MacArthur

Currently Playing Straylight Run By Straylight Run see related

-

EVERYONE GO OUT RIGHT NOW AND BUY/DOWNLOAD ALL YOU CAN FROM THE BAND "STRAYLIGHT RUN"!!!!! It's the backup singer from TBS's first album (which was a lot better than their new one) and it sounds like Brand New, Something Corporate, TBS, Jimmy Eat World, and Guster all rolled into one! This band is probably going to make into Mark's Inner Circle of Greatness, joining all the bands previously mentioned in this post with the exception of SC. "Fly you fools!" - Gandalf